God’s plan is better than mine

(c) from the web

“God’s plan for us is always greater and beautiful than ours.”

I just proved this quotation today, a day before my last day in the permanent post that I dream of for eight years. Yes, you read it right. I am leaving the post I planned to have in the entire years of my professional life. Let me tell you the story of my struggles…

I started my professional race two weeks after I graduated Bachelor of Arts in Development Communication at Central Luzon State University (CLSU). It was April 2009 when a hopeful “probinsyana” went in Makati with her friends to look for a job. I can recall how sad I am when all of my friends successfully had their first job while I took the road back to our province with a very low self-confidence. I can still hear the words of my very disappointed mother when I reached home.

I don’t know how long I stayed at my bed losing hope to find a job. Then one day I saw myself in Cabanatuan City applying in all establishments with the sign “hiring!” Until a BPO Company rang my phone for an interview, the interviewer bought me in La Fortuna College (the owner the BPO also owned the college.) Luckily they hired me, but not as BPO Agent but as secretary of the Vice President of the college. I stayed there for three months and then left for Philippine Center for Postharvest Development and Mechanization (PHilMech).

The happiest days of my professional career happen in PHilMech. I was able to visit different places as contracted Technical Writer for their projects. I always quote that place as “home-like workplace.” But even I was happy at most of my stay in PHilMech, I still dream of a permanent position that the agency can’t provide. They do not have a permanent post to offer for their hundred contracted staffs, and that includes me. Because of that, I started my plan to have a permanent post in the government.

In 2014, I enrolled Certificate of Teaching in CLSU-Open University. I studied online while working at PHilMech. And when I reached the time that I need to have my practice teaching, I filed a resignation in PHilMech and took a big step to finish my second course. After finishing my two months of practice teaching, I again applied in PHilMech and stayed there while having my review in Carl Balita Review Center for my Licensure Examination. I worked during weekdays and had my weekend for a review so I can surely pass the board exam for teachers. I never rested for my dream permanent post.

While waiting for a chance in Department of Education, I enrolled Master of Arts in English major in Applied Linguistics in Nueva Ecija University of Science and Technology (NEUST), I studied on Saturdays and work at PHilMech in weekdays.

Everything was part of my plan to get my way in the Department of Education. The road I took was never easy. I was a mother-student-worker at that time. You can ever consider me “single mom” then because my husband was in Taiwan, working.

Praying for my dream “permanent post” I told God, “Let me pass the board, let me be a teacher so that I can guide my future students on the right path.” Yes, my advocacy as a teacher was never to be the most intelligent and outstanding teacher, my goal is to be God’s servant so that I can tell my students who are in their middle adolescent to never commit premarital affairs or never become aggressive in love.

June 2017, finally, after battling in “ranking procedures” of DepEd, I was hired as Teacher II for Senior High School Department of Carmen National High School.

God gave me my dream post! He was not able to say “NO” with my deal. I am very happy. After eight years, I had the most stable job in our country; I become a public school teacher.

My plan works and I am the happiest.

Fulfilling my deal with God, I created a slogan for my students, and it says, “Minutes of Ecstasy, Forever in Hell.” This is to remind them that there are things that will make them feel happy for a short period of time but may lead to something bad that may ruin their future.

The catch: God’s plan.

I took a very difficult road to have my dream permanent post just to drop it for a much better plan that God created for my me ( for my whole family.)

I am leaving my post for a greener pasture in Canada. My husband successfully became a provincial nominee of Nova Scotia in Canada and I became his dependent together with our kids. And last September (2018) we received our working visa that pushes me to resign on my post. And yes tomorrow, November 23, 2018, I will drop my entire plan to let God move for my future. Believe me; His plan is better than us.

Everyone is asking me why I am leaving my dream post, here is my answer. I am choosing God’s plan for me and my family because His plan is better than mine.

And yes, I am choosing a complete family for my children knowing that I can always find a new “stable” job somewhere.

As God said in Proverbs 19:21, "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose (for you) will prevail." 

My God gave me an assurance that He has a better plan for me. This is Ma’am Gladys May Zamora-Carganilla, Teacher II, signing-off. 

Teacher’s Journey: My first year in teaching profession

Teaching is a noble profession.

This is the most popular description I know about teaching even before I choose to be one. Teaching requires work of heart. It requires passion because it will quench all your sanity at once. Teaching will make you cry, cry hard, and cry hardest. But beyond those challenges, it will reward you of love, hundreds, thousands and billions of love from your students.

During my first school year as teacher, I was an adviser for thirty three (33) lovable students. Thirty three diamonds with different brightness, twelve (12) males and twenty-one (21) females. I handled five sections every semesters, I handled hundreds of students in total.

When you are a teacher in the Philippines, your job description is not just to teach. You have to deal with bunch of paper works. There are times that you will choose if you will attend your class or will finish your other task. But honestly, most of the time we have to choose the papers rather than our students…and that shocked me so much on my first year.

I posted once on my Facebook, “I love teaching when it only requires me to teach,” and that was very true and personal to me. That post was misunderstood by others. But should I explain to them why I posted it? I know I don’t because that’s what my heart says while my mind was accepting the reality.

There were times that I was hurt of situations. For example, when my Principal texted me this, “…I think this is the 2^nd project assigned to Mrs. Carganilla which again without positive result. Nagkataon naman…?” I felt that she was implying that I am incompetent to chair activities in school. My ego was hurt. I replied her long message that I hope I did not. Clearing all the mess, she told me that the text message was a challenged on my part. And I feel sorry that I interpreted her message that way. I hope the mirror was not broken so we can really fix things.

But that was just a portion of a whole. What hurt me most was when my students choose a wrong path. I felt so bad when three of my students got pregnant. My 16 years old male student confessed that his girlfriend was pregnant; I was the first adult to know the fact. Of course, as an adviser, I told them to say it with their parents. But I understand that they were not able to say it for months. And when finally they did, one of my 17 years old female student suddenly stop going to school. The reason? The same thing. She was pregnant by his boyfriend. And it doesn’t stop in that news, because another female student chooses to live in the house of her boyfriend, who is another, a male student of mine because she just hated her own mother and to live in their own house. And when the month of May came, another student confessed that she was 6 months pregnant, asking help because she wanted to enroll on the next semester given her situation. The news hurt me so much. It seems I am not doing enough.

Life of a teacher is very challenging. It sucks sometimes. Teaching itself, I mean sharing of knowledge is easy but dealing with the issues will test your sanity.

But what makes me happy in the whole year? The surprises of my students during teacher’s day, birthday day and Valentine’s Day. There were times that I am asking myself? Did I do something good to deserve their love? Oh well…that I don’t know.

Another was my student’s achievements. I was so happy to see most of them doing their best to reach their goals. I was happy with their friendship, with the love that binded them as classmates. I love to see them supporting each other, and enjoying their senior high school years. As if they really came from my womb.

Favorites? That I don’t have. But honestly I trusted some of them better than other, but I am not considering them as my favorites. It maybe sound not so real, but I love them all. I accepted them all knowing their strengths and weaknesses. They are lovable children, and they are my children.

I am not closing my doors to other opportunities outside this profession but I know that with the ups and down of my first school year, I believe I can stay longer. So, as long as there are students who will listen and need me, I will be a teacher.

I am a newbie teacher, shocked of the kind of work I accepted but I’m starting to love this profession with all my heart and soul.

<Written: May 16, 2018>