I want to be more: A dream of every Filipino Abroad

"I want more, I want to be more."

This is the line that I will never forget from the KatDen movie, Hello, Love, Goodbye by Cathy Molina simply because it is so real for an Overseas Filipino Worker like me. 

Yes, I am one of the millions of young professionals who choose to leave the Philippines in the hope of a better life abroad. I am a permanent public school teacher before I went here in Canada. 

Wanting more would always be a part of me as a foreign worker in this land. When we landed here, I started to feel a "downgrade" in my professional life. It seems that applying for a job would be very hard even if you have good credentials written in your resume. My diploma, my experiences, seems nothing here. Wala lang, walang silbi. Starting a life here abroad was very hard. You will never know if you can ever regain the "self-confidence" that you have before. 

Lucky I am, after applying in all kind of jobs (cashier, housekeeper, gen.worker, etc.) I landed on a job related to teaching. Yes, by title, I am an Early Childhood Educator in a daycare, "teacher" as my students call me. But in reality, only 20% of the job is teaching, and 80% is merely taking good care of the kids while their parents are working (tagabantay ng bata, taga-alaga) whatever you want to call it. I  am already working 2 weeks in my job when I realized that I was not in school but in a childcare facility. It's a decent job, yes, I am earning more than I can earn as a teacher in the Philippines but I WANT MORE! 

Pride. No. I learned to forget my pride as I started my life here. It is more about my "DREAM" like what Joy let me see in the movie. We always have this dream that pushing us to want more. 

I want more, I want to be more. I know every immigrant and OFW wanted that. But how? As early as now (as of writing, I am here in Canada for only four months) I learned that I can be "more" in this land if I will study (again!). That is the only way that I can be more. But again how? Cost of leaving here is so high and I can't afford to lose my job. So, paano pa ako mag-aaral? How can I be more now? That is the sad reality that we (OFW) are facing. We can be more if we go to schooling but we can't afford to lose our job to support ourselves here and our family in the Philippines. Paano na ang mga "Joy" sa bawat isa sa amin.

I want to be more is chasing a dream while you losing hope as you already ate your pride in the process. 

I am hoping that my life here would end like a movie, happy ending. 

"I want more, I want to be more" is the line that every person living on a foreign land can relate with. 

Lucky I am, I know God, and I know that He will help me to have "more" in this life. 

Mt. Fato x Mt.Kupapey: My first Twin Hike

Dubbed as "Stronger at 30", my first twin hike took place in Mt. Fato and Mt.Kupapey at Bondoc, Mountain Province. The hike was to celebrate my 30 years of existence.

I am working as Senior High Teacher at that time in the Department of Education. Consumed with teaching and non-teaching task, I dream of having an adventure on my 30th birthday. But during this time, I am financially challenged so I opted to look for a very affordable adventure. At first, I am thinking of traveling to the Dingalan so I texted one of the numbers posted in one of the traveler's blog to asked for details (but actually to calculate the expenses, budgetarian traveler could relate.)Out of despair, I posted my move on my Facebook account, and one of my High School friend who happens to be the owner of "Yes to Adventure" who coordinate climb year round saw my post and invited me to join their "Mt.Fato and Mt.Kupapey twin hike" luckily scheduled on my birthday, February 16-17, 2018. 

Telling her what I am into at that moment, Mercy offered me to come in their group just paying the downpayment to reserve seat (another half can be paid anytime according to her, lucky I am.) 

It's not every day I am turning 30, so I grabbed it. 

Together with my husband, we joined the team headed by our coordinators Brix and Ronmer. The team originally met up in Manila, but since we live in Zaragoza, Nueva Ecija they picked us at the bus stop of Victory Liner in Lapaz, Tarlac. 

Long travel begins at 12 midnight on February 16.

First Stop

Banaue Rice Terraces at Ifugao, Mountain Province. 

I and my husband. Photo off with the native of Ifugao. 

As we enjoy the scenery at the viewpoint of Banaue Rice Terraces
we took lots of pictures so we can look back in that day when we grow old. 

The birthday girl. 

My supportive husband Nuel, my forever travel buddy. 

We had our first meal in Ifugao that day. The group ate brown rice and simple viand like tortang talong in the canteen near the tourism office of Banaue, Ifugao. 

After enjoying our meal we stopped on the view deck of Banaue Rice Terraces. Banaue rice terraces is a system of irrigated terraces in the mountains, created 2000 years ago by the Ifugao people. It is one of the UNESCO World Heritage sites since it is one of the living cultural landscape of unparalleled beauty.  

Second stop

After Banaue Rice Terraces, we continued our adventure until we reached Bontoc, Mountain Province. We stayed at one of the homestay in Maigcong, overlooking the magnificence Maligcong's rice terraces. We had time to rest from a long ride and wait for 3:00pm for Mt.Fato Hike. 

The view outside the balcony of our homestay.

Husband's photo off in the chimney of the homestay. 

We had time resting from the long travel and at 3:00pm the group went out of the comfort of our room to conquer Mt.Fato. 

Mt.Fato has an estimated 1438 MASL with a trail class of 1-2 and difficulty of 3/9 (source:pinoymountaineer.com) It features rock formations at the summit. On our climb, our goal was to reach the summit before the sunset. 

Fellow mountaineering enthusiast, please don't underestimate the 3/9 difficulty of Mt.Fato because its trail makes me feel dizzy or maybe it was just me since I am not that active before I did the hike. Even if it was just a minor climb, take note of this "be prepared." Never ever underestimate any mountain, a climb will always give a hard time before you can witness a beautiful view at the summit. 

On the trail, I had to sit at the moment to catch my breath
while my husband was enjoying capturing sceneries of the mountain. 

The scent of the pine trees along the trail helped me to regain energy. 

Us, enjoying the rock formations at the summit. 

Sunset at Mt.Fato. If you are looking for the "golden hour"
like that of the sunset at the beach, nahhhhh,
we had a different sunset experience here at the top of the mountain. 

We ended our first day with the beautiful sunset of Mt.Fato. Descend off the mountain before the lights run outs. 

Next stop

On our second day at 3:00 in the morning, we braved the cold atmosphere of Bontoc to chase sunrise at Mt.Kupapey. Chasing sunrise on the day of my birthday was very memorable, it was like telling myself that the on my 30s, there will be new hopes. 

Mt.Kupapey has estimated 1647 MASL, it offers sunrise viewing and aerial view of Maligcong Rice Terraces. 

With renewed energy, we climb Mt.Kupapey after finishing our fresh brewed dark coffee of Bontoc. It was overwhelming to see other groups of climbers walking with their flashlight before the sun came out. The trail looks so goods. It seems the lights were walking and following our footsteps. Although I was not able to take photos on the trail that morning because I only have my phone camera with me, the scene was very clear on my memory. Walking lights on the trail and chatterings of freshly wake climbers all excited for the sunrise. We all walked on that dark trail, braving the cold, hoping that sunrise will meet us at the summit. 

When we reached the summit, there were already groups of climbers sitting on waiting for the sunrise. We look for space and sat on our own and joined them waiting. Haze during that time were covering the view of Maligcong Rice Terraces. 

The haze hiding the beauty of Maligcong Rice Terraces. 

Us patiently waiting for the sunrise. 

No one actually loses hope that the sun will rise that morning. Holla, after waiting for almost an hour, the sun rises and everyone was amazed by its beauty. At that moment, I realized how lucky I am to witness such an amazing view of my 30th birthday. With that experience, I believed that my journey on my 30s will be the best of my life.  

The sunrise of Mt.Kupapey and the Maligcong Rice Terraces. 

After the sunrise, we took the chance to explore the summit of Mt.Kupapey. 

Exploring the summit after finding new hope.

After exploring and enjoying the view, our group went down of the mountain feeling so close to each other. Joiners can relate to that. 

Our group as we descend, going back at the homestay.

At the Maligcong Rice Terraces, no rice paddy at the moment.
 Planting season is on May and its full bloom is on June. 

We went down to rest, to have our breakfast and to get ready for the last part of our trip...our side trip in Sagada. 

But before the side trip let me tell you the insight that I learned from our coordinator who is a seasoned mountaineer, as he said,"We have our own summit, so don't be afraid to give up on trail if your body is already telling you to do so." On my own understanding, he was telling us that time, that in life we have our own summit. Maybe in reaching our dreams, our goals, and there is a certain point in our life that we will reach our own and it is not necessary for us to compare "our summit" to the "summit" of other people that we will meet on trail (life). 

Side trip 

My birthday adventure ended in Sagada. It was my 3rd time to visit the place and first time for my husband. Our side trip was a quick visit to Sagada, Mountain Province where we visited the St. Joseph Church, Lake Danum, and Hanging Coffins. 

Now, why did I dubbed my birthday adventure as "Stronger at 30," it was because on the weakest point of my life I felt so strong emotionally to face life challenges and physically to do the twin hike. 

I will be forever thankful to the people behind my story. 'till my next climb! 

P.S

For hassle-free adventure, look for Mercy Caba of Yes to Adventure. 

God’s plan is better than mine

(c) from the web

“God’s plan for us is always greater and beautiful than ours.”

I just proved this quotation today, a day before my last day in the permanent post that I dream of for eight years. Yes, you read it right. I am leaving the post I planned to have in the entire years of my professional life. Let me tell you the story of my struggles…

I started my professional race two weeks after I graduated Bachelor of Arts in Development Communication at Central Luzon State University (CLSU). It was April 2009 when a hopeful “probinsyana” went in Makati with her friends to look for a job. I can recall how sad I am when all of my friends successfully had their first job while I took the road back to our province with a very low self-confidence. I can still hear the words of my very disappointed mother when I reached home.

I don’t know how long I stayed at my bed losing hope to find a job. Then one day I saw myself in Cabanatuan City applying in all establishments with the sign “hiring!” Until a BPO Company rang my phone for an interview, the interviewer bought me in La Fortuna College (the owner the BPO also owned the college.) Luckily they hired me, but not as BPO Agent but as secretary of the Vice President of the college. I stayed there for three months and then left for Philippine Center for Postharvest Development and Mechanization (PHilMech).

The happiest days of my professional career happen in PHilMech. I was able to visit different places as contracted Technical Writer for their projects. I always quote that place as “home-like workplace.” But even I was happy at most of my stay in PHilMech, I still dream of a permanent position that the agency can’t provide. They do not have a permanent post to offer for their hundred contracted staffs, and that includes me. Because of that, I started my plan to have a permanent post in the government.

In 2014, I enrolled Certificate of Teaching in CLSU-Open University. I studied online while working at PHilMech. And when I reached the time that I need to have my practice teaching, I filed a resignation in PHilMech and took a big step to finish my second course. After finishing my two months of practice teaching, I again applied in PHilMech and stayed there while having my review in Carl Balita Review Center for my Licensure Examination. I worked during weekdays and had my weekend for a review so I can surely pass the board exam for teachers. I never rested for my dream permanent post.

While waiting for a chance in Department of Education, I enrolled Master of Arts in English major in Applied Linguistics in Nueva Ecija University of Science and Technology (NEUST), I studied on Saturdays and work at PHilMech in weekdays.

Everything was part of my plan to get my way in the Department of Education. The road I took was never easy. I was a mother-student-worker at that time. You can ever consider me “single mom” then because my husband was in Taiwan, working.

Praying for my dream “permanent post” I told God, “Let me pass the board, let me be a teacher so that I can guide my future students on the right path.” Yes, my advocacy as a teacher was never to be the most intelligent and outstanding teacher, my goal is to be God’s servant so that I can tell my students who are in their middle adolescent to never commit premarital affairs or never become aggressive in love.

June 2017, finally, after battling in “ranking procedures” of DepEd, I was hired as Teacher II for Senior High School Department of Carmen National High School.

God gave me my dream post! He was not able to say “NO” with my deal. I am very happy. After eight years, I had the most stable job in our country; I become a public school teacher.

My plan works and I am the happiest.

Fulfilling my deal with God, I created a slogan for my students, and it says, “Minutes of Ecstasy, Forever in Hell.” This is to remind them that there are things that will make them feel happy for a short period of time but may lead to something bad that may ruin their future.

The catch: God’s plan.

I took a very difficult road to have my dream permanent post just to drop it for a much better plan that God created for my me ( for my whole family.)

I am leaving my post for a greener pasture in Canada. My husband successfully became a provincial nominee of Nova Scotia in Canada and I became his dependent together with our kids. And last September (2018) we received our working visa that pushes me to resign on my post. And yes tomorrow, November 23, 2018, I will drop my entire plan to let God move for my future. Believe me; His plan is better than us.

Everyone is asking me why I am leaving my dream post, here is my answer. I am choosing God’s plan for me and my family because His plan is better than mine.

And yes, I am choosing a complete family for my children knowing that I can always find a new “stable” job somewhere.

As God said in Proverbs 19:21, "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose (for you) will prevail." 

My God gave me an assurance that He has a better plan for me. This is Ma’am Gladys May Zamora-Carganilla, Teacher II, signing-off. 

Teacher’s Journey: My first year in teaching profession

Teaching is a noble profession.

This is the most popular description I know about teaching even before I choose to be one. Teaching requires work of heart. It requires passion because it will quench all your sanity at once. Teaching will make you cry, cry hard, and cry hardest. But beyond those challenges, it will reward you of love, hundreds, thousands and billions of love from your students.

During my first school year as teacher, I was an adviser for thirty three (33) lovable students. Thirty three diamonds with different brightness, twelve (12) males and twenty-one (21) females. I handled five sections every semesters, I handled hundreds of students in total.

When you are a teacher in the Philippines, your job description is not just to teach. You have to deal with bunch of paper works. There are times that you will choose if you will attend your class or will finish your other task. But honestly, most of the time we have to choose the papers rather than our students…and that shocked me so much on my first year.

I posted once on my Facebook, “I love teaching when it only requires me to teach,” and that was very true and personal to me. That post was misunderstood by others. But should I explain to them why I posted it? I know I don’t because that’s what my heart says while my mind was accepting the reality.

There were times that I was hurt of situations. For example, when my Principal texted me this, “…I think this is the 2^nd project assigned to Mrs. Carganilla which again without positive result. Nagkataon naman…?” I felt that she was implying that I am incompetent to chair activities in school. My ego was hurt. I replied her long message that I hope I did not. Clearing all the mess, she told me that the text message was a challenged on my part. And I feel sorry that I interpreted her message that way. I hope the mirror was not broken so we can really fix things.

But that was just a portion of a whole. What hurt me most was when my students choose a wrong path. I felt so bad when three of my students got pregnant. My 16 years old male student confessed that his girlfriend was pregnant; I was the first adult to know the fact. Of course, as an adviser, I told them to say it with their parents. But I understand that they were not able to say it for months. And when finally they did, one of my 17 years old female student suddenly stop going to school. The reason? The same thing. She was pregnant by his boyfriend. And it doesn’t stop in that news, because another female student chooses to live in the house of her boyfriend, who is another, a male student of mine because she just hated her own mother and to live in their own house. And when the month of May came, another student confessed that she was 6 months pregnant, asking help because she wanted to enroll on the next semester given her situation. The news hurt me so much. It seems I am not doing enough.

Life of a teacher is very challenging. It sucks sometimes. Teaching itself, I mean sharing of knowledge is easy but dealing with the issues will test your sanity.

But what makes me happy in the whole year? The surprises of my students during teacher’s day, birthday day and Valentine’s Day. There were times that I am asking myself? Did I do something good to deserve their love? Oh well…that I don’t know.

Another was my student’s achievements. I was so happy to see most of them doing their best to reach their goals. I was happy with their friendship, with the love that binded them as classmates. I love to see them supporting each other, and enjoying their senior high school years. As if they really came from my womb.

Favorites? That I don’t have. But honestly I trusted some of them better than other, but I am not considering them as my favorites. It maybe sound not so real, but I love them all. I accepted them all knowing their strengths and weaknesses. They are lovable children, and they are my children.

I am not closing my doors to other opportunities outside this profession but I know that with the ups and down of my first school year, I believe I can stay longer. So, as long as there are students who will listen and need me, I will be a teacher.

I am a newbie teacher, shocked of the kind of work I accepted but I’m starting to love this profession with all my heart and soul.

<Written: May 16, 2018>

I love Sunset

My photo during the sunset. (c) husband

“You know when a person is very sad, they love sunset.”  I disagree not just because I picked it in the four corner games last week, but because I really disagree.

I love sunset personally. One of its colors is my favorite (orange), and it really looks beautiful and therapeutic to me especially when I am seeing it on a beach or on the top of the mountain with my husband.

I believe that when a sad person saw the sunset, its therapeutic scene will fade all the sadness. Its beauty will make that person happy.

Sunset may mean the end of the day but it also signals the proximity of the new day.  As the saying says, “every sunset, is an opportunity to reset.” So how can someone be so sad if he or she has the opportunity to reset her life?  Sunset is an opportunity to start a new life.  It gives hope.

Sunset. I always dream to be still with my husband when I reached the sunset of my life. How sweet it is to imagine that we will grow old together, playing with our granddaughters and grandsons. Reached our golden wedding anniversary and exchange bows in the beach while the sun is setting. Not everyone can experience that. A sad person will never dream of that.

I just can’t connect sadness to sunset because its darkness still has light. And if there still light, there is hope and happiness.  To further explained it I goggled something about it and here what the study says: “Being “attuned” to the natural beauty of sunsets can improve a person’s emotional well-being, according to the study from the University of California at Berkley. Just being in the presence of something beautiful can make you feel better and more connected to yourself and your emotions. And not only will watching sunsets make you feel better emotionally, it’ll also help you be a better person to others. A similar study by the same researcher, Jia Wei Zhang, found that those same emotions that improve your personal well-being were also found to cause people to be more generous (sites.psu.edu).”

Submitted to Reading Class. :)

The cry of Minalungao

You cemented my limestone, throw garbage everywhere, and build concrete structure on my facade, you ruined my natural beauty. I am crying for help.

Limestone were cemented. Photo by thelostkids.ph

Few years back, I am a natural beauty. I provide breath taking view of Penaranda River bordered by towering limestone walls on both sides. But what did you do? You cemented my limestone to create stairs going to another part of me. You don’t know how million years before my limestone were formed. You hurt me and left me crying. 

 I am a 2,018-hectare protected landscape located in General Tinio, Nueva Ecija. The local government considers me as one of the few remaining natural environments in Central Luzon. You promise to preserve my natural beauty and to protect me from exploitation on 1967, and then you called me Minalungao National Park. What happen after then? Can’t you see I’m dying?

My visitors throw garbage on me. Swim on my body of water so you can see. Walk on my dead limestone to see that awful garbage everywhere. Come climb on my towering mountain. Can you see what I am saying? In your every step, you see garbage, but you don’t care. And today you are building hotels that further ruined me. My child, I don’t know if I can ever recover soon. I am nearly dead.

Let your drone fly to see my aerial view. Is those “development” added beauty? No my child. I am better without them.

I am begging. Save me. Don’t leave me helplessly. I am better years back. Stop exploiting me. I am Minalungao, I am crying and feeling sorry for myself. 

I wrote this article as a requirement for my Structure of English class. I reported the Basic Structure of the Paragraph and at the end of my report, Dr. Angel Pangilinan of NEUST-Graduate School asked me to write a paragraph about Minalungao. That's why this article is very short as it compose the topic sentence, supporting sentence and the concluding sentence. 

          At first, I think that I have to promote the Minalungao but out of love, I came out with this short paragraph hoping that my "kababayan" in Papaya (Gen.Tinio, Nueva Ecija) realize what we are about to lose. This is not the kind of development that I will be proud of. This place is far better before, I hope our leaders realize that. Let us save Minalungao.