What I do when I failed myself?
First, I will start sulking for a day or two. And will not talk to anyone but God, my best friend, while rolling on my bed. Then sleep.
Second, I will write to find comfort. Exactly what I’m doing write now.
Third, I would think of my goals. I usually had three, so if one fails, there will be number 2, then number 3. In this case, two gone to waste, except to the one that seems impossible but can be still possible with the support of the people who care for me, the people who always got my back.
Next, I will feel desperate and do nothing but think. And because of that I will feel depressed. Then sleep again.
Next, I’ll pray any time of the day. When I’m eating, when I’m taking a bath, peeing or even when pooping. I’ll talk to Him and convince him to help me until I find way, and ready to start.
Finally, I would rise up, tall and proud, because I know I got His support. How do I know? He would give me another goal and ways to do it.
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Oh yeah right now, I’m still in between one and two. So don’t talk to me until tomorrow, I’m still sulking.
It’s so hard when your giving yourself hope to be somebody in this place, when everybody making you feel your nobody. But that’s me, I always have goals, and I would never stop until I achieve at least one of it.
I would still say, “It’s ok taking the risk. Loosing opportunities is part of the process. It will make me strong, or even stronger!”
Laban pa, Gladys May!
